is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
