O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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