Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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