So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My feet surprised me
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