Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
