I think my fart just growled at me.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
