If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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