we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
