And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
