a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
