What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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