I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
