i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
