I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You don't make any sense
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