Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
