Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
