I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
