Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just had sex on a roof
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
