He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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