It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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