D3 body, D1 cock
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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