Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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