I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
