By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize