My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
accomplished twins. life is a go
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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