Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
