Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
