yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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