theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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