They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
