Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
