she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
