if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
