went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
