i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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