Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
