I just made out with a guy for $7.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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