U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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