No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
