I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
