my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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