Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
