Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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