I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
