jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
