All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
