Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
