Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
