I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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