It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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