For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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