I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
