Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
His nipple licking is glorious
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