I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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